Open Letter to Bill Simmons

Dear Bill Simmons, the Sports Guy, or whatever name you're going by these days:

Stop writing about the Red Sox and Patriots. Your material is tired, and just downright pathetic. The Colts finally beat the Pats at Foxboro last night, and how do you respond? Instead of praising the Colts for a great performance or at least pretending like you have some class, you write this eloquent paragraph:

"Belichick's message was clear: We need all the points we can get; our defense can't stop these guys. And they couldn't. Forty points and a gazillion first downs later, Manning was smiling on the sidelines, his teammates were pretending they liked him, ABC was rolling their fake MasterCard commercial and the fans were pouring out of Gillette Stadium. The torch, for all intents and purposes, had been passed. After four arduous years, various rule changes to help their passing game, and a cream-puff schedule highlighted by a fortuitous bye before last night's game, the Colts (and the NFL) finally got their wish. There was a new alpha dog in the AFC."

A little upset about something? Sour grapes? You know that whole idea that when you lose, you accept responsibility for your shortcomings and work like hell to make sure it doesn't happen the next time? "No, I prefer to make excuses while making a complete ass of myself." Oh. Ok. Just so long as we understand each other, Bill. But the worst part is, you weren't done. You concluded quite possibly the worst article I've ever read with this nugget:

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a little nap and rest my head on my three Patriots Super Bowl DVDs."

Stick to the NBA. You're actually a very talented journalist until you start writing about any team that hails from Boston. The entire sports community is begging you to stop this madness. Thank you.